The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex by Jenny Block

Author:Jenny Block
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: The Ultimate Guide to Solo Sex
ISBN: 9781627781763
Publisher: Cleis Press
Published: 2016-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

As you can see, most women need relatively direct and steady clitoral stimulation. Outside of that? Well, there really are no particular limits, parameters, or rules. Women do it all kinds of places in all kinds of ways with all kinds of props. I hope that will both put your mind at ease and assure you that you are perfectly normal, as well as inspire you to do whatever gets you seeing stars.

CHAPTER

6

Solo Sex and Partnered Sex

I GET A LOT of questions about masturbation within a relationship. According to Alfred Kinsey himself, forty percent of men and thirty percent of women in relationships masturbate—but seventy-two percent of married men and sixty-eight percent of married women masturbate. I find this statistic particularly intriguing. It would be great if this surge was because married people are having so much sex that it makes them want even more sex, and so they masturbate, which makes them want still more sex, and the happy cycle continues. But I am fearful that this statistic is more likely because after the first year of marriage, the frequency of sex goes down and continues to drop, and so couples have solo sex because it’s better than having no sex at all.

Masturbation is an excellent part of a healthy relationship. It is not, however, a proper substitute for partnered sex. If you and your partner are happy and healthy and you enjoy sex, have it! Masturbate to stay healthy and keep your sex drive amped up, but don’t use it as a replacement. Instead, explore why you aren’t having sex with your partner and do your best to remedy that.

None of that is to say that just because you’re partnered, you have to stop masturbating. Not at all. Orgasms beget orgasms, and masturbation teaches us what we like. And when we do it for our partners, it teaches them what we like, too. You’ll want to discover the ins and outs of your own personal pleasure not because you’re alone, but because you are partnered with someone. Learn how to use this self-knowledge to take care of your sexual self and your sexual relationship.

Masturbating when you’re partnered can come in three forms—doing it alone, doing it while your partner does it, and doing it for your partner while he or she watches.

Here are five reasons to masturbate alone even when you’re in a relationship:

1.To keep your sex drive up.

Orgasms beget orgasms. So no matter how little or how much sex you’re having in your relationship, it doesn’t hurt to keep the pump primed. And if you’re not having much sex, it’s even more important to masturbate so that you won’t lose your desire for sex. You might even be inspired to take it to the next level and try some new positions or toys or locations…

2.To take the pressure off of your partnered sex life.

Relying on someone else for sexual release can be a dangerous game. It can lead you to be resentful if you’re not getting as much as you want when you want it.

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